Growing Through The Madness
Tagline: Hustle vibes and a lil chaos.
Hosted by Abi, Growing Through the Madness is a vibrant podcast where storytelling meets culture & where everyday growth is celebrated!
This is your dose of hustle, heart, and some chaos. We dive into personal journeys, societal shifts, and the rich experiences - all through a relatable lens.
From life realizations to cultural hot-takes, Abi brings her unique voice as an African Canadian; creating space for real talk and real growth. No experts, No preaching - just honest stories, shared lessons, and a whole lot of love.
Cheers to growing through life's madness!
🎙️ New episodes bi-weekly — moving to weekly soon
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🎥 Watch on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@GrowingTTM
Growing Through The Madness
Growing Through Body Image: When your favourite Jeans don't fit anymore ft Knitmeupstyle (Sade Babatunde)
What happens when the body you've known all your life suddenly changes? How do you dress with confidence when your favorite clothes no longer fit? In this deeply personal conversation with Personal Stylist and Image Therapist Sade Babatunde, we explore the complex relationship between our bodies, our clothes, and our self-image.
Sade shares her journey from creating clothes for Barbie dolls as a child to launching her personal styling boutique in Calgary. After being laid off from her tech job, she embraced her longtime passion for fashion, creating a business that helps clients build confidence through their wardrobes. Her approach goes far beyond simply picking out clothes—it's about helping people reconcile with their changing bodies and discover styles that celebrate who they are now.
Both Sade and I open up about our own body image struggles and the emotional process of "grieving" our former bodies while learning to embrace new ones. We discuss why arbitrary sizing labels can devastate our confidence, and how practices like tailoring and choosing adaptable clothing can transform our relationship with our wardrobes. Sade offers practical styling tips while emphasizing that true style comes from within: "Confidence speaks louder than whatever you're wearing and whatever size."
This conversation isn't just for fashion enthusiasts—it's for anyone who's ever felt betrayed by their changing body or struggled to recognize themselves in the mirror. We discover that sometimes the path to self-acceptance starts in our closets, with clothes that honor the bodies we have right now rather than the ones we used to have or wish we had.
Ready to transform your relationship with your body and your wardrobe? Listen now, and learn how to grow through the madness of body changes with grace and style.
So I even feel more comfortable with this one.
Speaker 1:Okay, talk to me about why you feel more comfortable.
Speaker 2:I feel more calm. There's not a lot going on. It's not too much. It's not too much, but it still makes like you will still notice the dress without it being. Oh my God, what's going on?
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, the other one had a lot. And then turn around let's show people the ooh, peekaboo hi shade. Hey, miss abby how are you doing? I'm chilling, I'm grinding, grinding, I'm moving. I love it. We move, no matter what, no matter what we have to Always moving. Anyways, welcome Welcome to my home.
Speaker 2:You're welcome. Well, thank you, I think you're welcome. You're welcome, thank you, thank you. Thank you. Thanks for having me here, of course. So, hi, everyone, welcome back to Growing Through the Madness. I'm your host, abisani, and today we have the lovely Shaddaa. Hi everybody, usually I always do a clap hey, we clap with you, hey, yeah. And if you haven't guessed, I am in Calgary this weekend and, yeah, we're doing a session, so I'll let you introduce yourself.
Speaker 1:Yes, well, hello everybody. Thank you for having me. First of all, this is an honor to be here. I'm excited, I'm very like encouraged also to just be like sharing my story with you and to also support your own journey as well.
Speaker 1:Thank, you and so a little bit about me. My name is Shadi. As we mentioned, I own a personal styling boutique based in Calgary. So we serve men and women all walks of life and we basically build their confidence through clothes. So that's at the core of what I do. That's it. But I'm also I'm an image therapist. You know, when you're not sure how clothes fit anymore, you don't know how you feel in your clothes, I'm here to help you, guide, to guide you through that process. I shop for people. I just help build their closet and their image through clothes, and so that's me.
Speaker 2:That's actually very interesting. So, guys, guys, we did a bit of a styling session and I wanted to ask you what do you think my style is? You've known me for how many years now.
Speaker 1:I don't even know when we met, I just know I've known you yeah, I can't remember how I met you like more than 10 years for sure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so okay, from then to now, your style, I feel like, okay, I don't know, I never. It's hard to use adjectives, right, but I would say what I've seen, which is you love patterns, you love patterns, you love color and you love I don't know what the word is this spice. Like you have a little. There's a little, a little something, something. You know there's, yeah, a little something something, a little a feisty. I don't know what it is, but it's. I'll find the words for it. But that's what I've noticed, like color and like a little some some edge. Like your clothes have edge, you know low back dress, or like you know you'll mix a dress with a tight top underneath. That's like a sheer, and all your patterns are like bold. It's like, oh, I didn't even know that like you're, like even what you're wearing right now, it's like a sheer and all your patterns are like bold, it's like oh, I didn't even know that.
Speaker 1:Like you're like even what you're wearing right now. It's like there's a bold pattern on the top and the pants and then even some of the clothes you have there, like look at them bold, bold, bold right.
Speaker 2:You know what? I've never thought about that. What does that say about my personality?
Speaker 1:but it's true like clothes are a reflection of your personality. That's what I always try to tell my clients, because I'm trying to build their closet to reflect who they are. But it's like you do. Actually, it's funny, your clothes do reflect that personality accurately because you are bold, you're spicy. People think, oh, she's smallish and she's got a soft voice. Don't listen to this girl. Don't listen to this girl, don't be fooled. But it's like it's not overpowering, it's not aggressive, it's just like you know. You see a piece of art like a sculpture and it's just existing on its own.
Speaker 2:I love that, take it, I will take it. Oh, look at this. She's like really just wow, it's true.
Speaker 1:It's true, it's true, yes. So at this she's like really just wow, it's true, it's true, yes. So yeah, you're, you're a piece of art, you're like the art in the museum, like it's edgy, it's present, it's wow, it's unique.
Speaker 2:Coming from you, that's really rich. Because I feel like shade is a fashionista, she can wear anything, she goes. She's a beautiful girl, as you can see already. Like thank you, style is. Even look at the drama of this. Drama is serious. Literally. We are chilling and she comes, she will come out with this, just chilling this girl.
Speaker 1:It's good I love it, I love it, I love it, I like people who can get with that program because it's fun. Sometimes I want to, but I'm like you're like should I, but I feel like you always do. Even if you're like should I, it's like you're like yeah, I will yeah, I will. Whatever, I'll do what I want to do exactly yeah, and I love that confidence it shows through your quotes.
Speaker 2:Yeah and I have another question. So, because you've known me for a bit, do you feel like my style has changed since? University or just post university.
Speaker 1:I think, because I mostly met you post you when you were on university, but I still associated you with the university crew because that's how I saw you right, yeah but I think, from when I met you whenever that was, which we don't know I just I've always known you.
Speaker 2:I think I met you in your house.
Speaker 1:I feel like Damien In the Edmonton house. Was it through Damien or through her?
Speaker 2:sister, like Tosin, invited me for a party that was at. Damien Shaday's house, that sounds accurate. And I was like, okay, let's go, that sounds very accurate.
Speaker 1:I feel like, from what I remember meeting you in Tosin's house your style then to now I feel like now it's, it's glammed up, but not in the overly like yeah, glamorous and shiny way. It's just it's elevated. So there's more shine, but it's not aggressive shine. I don't know if that makes sense, because I remember maybe I don't know if this is right you were wearing a lot of jeans, did you wear a lot of jeans? But whereas now I don't think I've seen you in jeans. I wear a gym you probably still do, but maybe I'm only seeing you when you're dressed. Looks like dami's birthday.
Speaker 1:You were dressed up for that weekend, yeah, and then when I came for fa's birthday, we were like we were going out and stuff but I still, I still remember, like when, whatever version I saw of you, that was out, yeah, versus this version I'm seeing of you that's still out, it's more elevated. Oh, I've grown, you grow. I'm like she's stepped out, you keep growing. You know what I mean. We're maturing.
Speaker 2:You know, with the theme of the podcast, what is it Growing through? What Growing through?
Speaker 1:the madness. Yes, you have grown through the madness, she has grown through the madness. She has grown through the madness, so I can talk about this. It's actually on track. You have actually grown and you are growing through the madness. I'm still growing. Yes, girl my sister.
Speaker 2:It's real, it's really real. Sorry, thank you, sorry, okay. So I wanted to ask you. I have a few questions for you. Are you ready for me? I'm so ready. So, first of all, how was your week? How are you? I should have asked this first, but how are you? How are you feeling?
Speaker 1:Great question. I mean, my week was when one of my best friends got married this week and it was like, you know, it's so funny, I thought I'd be a thug. So I'm like, yeah, I know she's getting married. I've known, you know, I've known for a while that this day was coming. But in the beginning of the week, you know, when something just hits you, yeah, you didn't realize, like whoa, okay, they're getting married, and like you're also just so happy for them and like it's like that, the joy, the overjoyed feeling of just like being happy for someone you love, getting what they deserve you, You're just like oh, and then also you're like you're losing them to some degree because she's moving now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know. So I think all of that realization started hitting me at the beginning of the week and then so that was mostly my week was just being like that support group or that's part of my best friend's, like journey to marriagehood or whatever they call it. Whatever they call it.
Speaker 2:Whatever they call it. Married life, married life, married women's life yeah, she's married. You know, I was talking to you the day before and I was like I don't really cry, I don't really cry at weddings and things like that, yeah, and I believed it. And then you girls started working it and I started crying and then she started working with the dad. I had that and I just bawled no way he, what is going on? You're like who is? Who am I? Is that me? What?
Speaker 1:is happening no, that's not abby, that's abby 2.0, abby calgary version.
Speaker 1:No, that was crazy yeah, you can feel the emotions during the wedding, like just even the whole week, like different moments, and I was telling damien and michael I was like you know, this wedding is just a reflection of who you guys are right when you you're seeing those people that love you, you're surrounded by support, people that are just in your corner and ready to do whatever you need. It's a reflection of who you've been to them and to people around you. Yes, and so it was just. It was so beautiful.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was such a nice, like I actually miss Calgary. I was like aw, Aw right, I miss Calgary when I move back, though. No, but you might miss it, but I cut it back, I miss Calgary. People are so kind.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the softness is real.
Speaker 2:People are so kind. Let's get back into styling. What did you study in?
Speaker 1:school I did a bachelor in business. My major was marketing.
Speaker 2:I loved marketing in school. I think it was my minor.
Speaker 1:Finance and then marketing. No finance Accounting.
Speaker 2:Get it right.
Speaker 1:That's so funny, but you're accountants and finance guys.
Speaker 2:I work finance-ish. I'm not in investment banking yes, yeah yeah, that's right. I always have to differentiate the two.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah no, that makes sense. But yeah, so I did marketing as my major and, funny, funny enough, when I first started my major I was like, oh, which one do I pick? I saw entrepreneurship. I was like, oh, which one do I pick? I saw entrepreneurship and I was like, oh, yeah, that's it. Like I love being an entrepreneur, Like that was always in my head. And so I picked that one and I told my dad and he was like which kind, what are you going to do with the entrepreneurship major? You know, like he's just thinking concretely Also.
Speaker 2:I've never heard of it. I didn't know, though I know was that in my time in my.
Speaker 1:I don't know if it was probably, maybe it was still new, who knows, I don't even know if it's still there, but I just remember I saw, and it's the one that resonated with me the most out of anything. So I told my parents what I chose. My dad is like you need something that's gonna make you some money, something more tangible something more tangible and, mind you, that was like years ago.
Speaker 1:And so then I chose marketing, and thank God I did, because that has shaped so much of my journey and has impacted my ability to even get this far. So, yeah, that's what I studied. I loved marketing. Marketing now became it's so interesting, it's so fascinating, it's creative, it's strategic, and I love that about marketing it's both worlds it's strategy and creativity to get a result, and so it's not just fluff. And nowadays, too, it really can't be fluff. You know, with the rise of data and AI and technology, yeah, you can't just be like, yeah, here's a campaign. We hope it does well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think one of the things that I have I remember from marketing class was products, products, promotions and products for peas. Yes, but like there was something that my marketing instructor was so good he became my reference for jobs because I used to go for almost all the office hours because it was so good anyways. He explained something about how when you go into the mall, they put certain things on the left-hand side because research showed that maybe people will buy XYZ kids. They put all those things on their level because they want their kids to buy. I was like this is crazy, I know.
Speaker 1:It fascinated me so much. It's so fascinating. Yes, when you do it right marketing, oh it works. It works.
Speaker 2:There's a science, think it's you think you're going to the store and you're putting women there? Men, there is a lie.
Speaker 1:No, no everything is, it's working it's working like yeah, yeah, no, it's fascinating.
Speaker 2:So what do you want to be? I know we've talked about style style, what do you want? And you marketing. I think that's related in a way. Yeah.
Speaker 1:What did you want to?
Speaker 2:be when you grew up as a kid.
Speaker 1:As a kid. Funny enough, when I was really young, like when I used to live in Holland with my family, my mom bought me some Barbies and I used to take all their clothes off. I just stripped them naked and then I'll recreate their clothes using tissue paper. Oh, I was just really fascinated. I don't know how. It just kind of happened that way. And then she got annoyed with me. She's like you're just tissue paper everywhere. So then she bought me a sewing kit and then like some fabric, oh, so you can make clothes. I made all my, so all my barbie's clothes. They were always all my barbies were always in my clothes because I made I know it's so funny and then just a full circle experience now.
Speaker 1:So back then I was like, was like I want to be a fashion designer. I just kept saying it fashion designer, fashion designer. And I was like probably maybe eight or nine around then or something. And then so I was young, young. Then when I started business school I did marketing. I was like I want to be an ad executive, I want to be the best in advertising. So that was the most fascinating part of marketing for me. And then, but I think all through that it's always been like. I think I've just been a self-starter Just find something, go for it, create something out of nothing. I think maybe that's the motto, and so yeah. But fashion design, it's just funny how it's kind of made its way back.
Speaker 2:Yes, you know, because I thought, surprise, I'm not surprised, I'm not surprised that that's what you want it to be. I'm just surprised that, like there's the transitioning of things, like you, still follow the same. Yes, it's almost like I wanted to. You wanted to be this when you grew up and you kind of still follow that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm surprised too, like when I think about the fact that it came full circle. That's what's's shocking to me, right? And so, yeah, it's really kind of it's a beautiful story and just the way that it happened that I'm still back in fashion and, of course, like, for me, it's not going to end in just personal styling. That's just where I'm starting now. Yeah, it's going to evolve, and I would love for it to evolve into fashion designing where I'm designing clothes.
Speaker 1:Definitely designing where I'm designing. I was gonna ask, definitely, oh nice, because why not? Right? Because then I, especially as I work with a lot of women and different body types, like I, have a vision of like clothes that don't have sizes.
Speaker 2:I mean, I know that's like tailored clothes, but because sizing can, the psychology behind a size and a number alone, yeah, can ruin a woman's day yes, and let's talk about this because one of the things we talked about before off camera was how, for me, when I was younger, I would wear a lot of crop tops yeah, because I was skinny, yeah, so I was like crap, crap, crap. And then now my body changed and it was hard and that's something that okay, disclaimer. I know, like my body changed, everything is relative. I was always very tiny as a kid growing up. My body changed. I'm, I know that, I'm not, I'm not, I'm healthy, I'm fine and all that.
Speaker 2:But I had to go through a change like that. Change was hard for me. Yes, yeah, to be honest. Yeah, and none of my clothes fit, yeah. So then I had to think about what looks good on me. When I was younger, I knew how to style myself, I knew what would look good, I knew, you know, but then, when my body changed, I didn't know what looked good anymore yeah, I struggled.
Speaker 2:I struggled for a bit I think I like a year or a year and a half where I'll go out and I'll be like I don't know, I didn't like what I looked like because I didn't know what to do with the styling, yeah, and then you go to Zara.
Speaker 1:I'm calling Zara out, she's also me Throwing the Zara, don't listen. But.
Speaker 2:You go to Zara, yeah, and then they tell you that I was a size large. I'm like large when? But when did it happen?
Speaker 1:I know I was an extra small, and then I think about some of these stores. They adjust their sizing too through the years and I guess one thing I always try to encourage my clients to do is almost divorce yourself from sizing, because it's just going to depress you. And trust me, I understand, because I went through my own body changes too. Covid happened and then I got injured. I hurt my leg so I couldn't walk. I was in a cast for like three months and then I couldn't work out. I didn't do anything and then all of a sudden I was like my clothes aren't fitting and it was literally like you have to grieve the body that you had, yeah, and let it go, and then by doing that you make room for the new body and accept it. But that's actually a process. It takes a while.
Speaker 2:Girl. This is so true Because, for me as well, I think I had to come to a place where I started to feel like this is the only body that I have. Yeah, and I'm going to love it, I'm going to enjoy it, yes, I'll keep working out.
Speaker 2:I'll keep eating what I like, but being responsible with it, you know. But I had to come to that place to place. Now I'm in a place where I'm like, yeah, because you've accepted it, I'm fine. Yeah, you have it, I have a stop. So is it buddy part? Is it gonna kill me? Like no, am I healthy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, exactly, and it's so important. It's hard though. It's hard, it's so hard and a lot of the women I I work with, and even guys too, but for women maybe it's just more, it's heavier, it's more emotional, or do you think we talk about it more? I actually don't know if we talk about it as enough. I think what it is is that maybe we feel it more especially hormonal too. Like even in one month, your body can change before your period, during your period, after your period alone. So I don't know if we talk about it enough as in like, do we talk enough about the fact that your body's gonna change regardless of what you do, and it's better just accept that that's gonna happen?
Speaker 1:yes, actually, and then, accept your body, what, at whatever point it changes to, whatever it changes to. You know, like some women have kids and then their hips have changed. Like you cannot shrink, you cannot lose weight, like hips, like you can't lose weight.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean, like sometimes you're, the structure of your bones change.
Speaker 1:yeah, some women their feet size grow when you have kids. It doesn't go back. Yeah, sometimes it will go back to the size it was. Sometimes it doesn't.
Speaker 2:Your feet expand.
Speaker 1:Full expansion. It just expands. Wow. You go from size 8 to size 9. Eh, and that's how size 8 shows up. So you lose all your cute shoes.
Speaker 1:You lose all your cute shoes. Oh no, your cute shoes. It may not happen to you. I'm just saying, like you know, but like this whole experience, like ever since I became, like became full-time with it, yeah, I realized that whatever happens to my body, I just want to be able to accept it. Yeah, that's actually the mentality I want, because it's gonna change. It's malleable, it can go, it can increase, it can go back down, it can yo-yo, so whatever happens, okay, you know, I mean I'll just be doing this. So, whatever happens, I just I want clothes in my closet that can, that can complement my body wherever it's at yeah, and I and that's very, very important as well also the when things happen with body changes.
Speaker 2:I don't know.
Speaker 1:We're still talking about body change but I think it's important to talk about it once our body changes right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we don't stay in the moment to enjoy it, no way, in fact, we're running away from it. Yeah, we don't like you don't stay there to be like. Let me just enjoy it, because I know the compliments I was getting was like oh my god, you got thick and people liked it, but I didn't. Yeah, and it was hard to just enjoy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, now I'm enjoying it yeah, you're like, bring on the thick coming. Whatever you're like, you're welcome, enjoy the thickness.
Speaker 2:I think it's because, like that's not what you were used to. Yeah, it was hard, it was. Yeah, but just like we need to learn to. Just if you want the change, yes, work towards it. Yeah, but don't. I think it's more like appreciate and embrace the work you're doing, and sometimes it may not look like they're results yeah, but they're resolved.
Speaker 2:I don't know how to explain, even if it's emotionally, mentally, there's results just the way you need to do and be because, like sometimes, you carry your body that you don't like and because of the way you're carrying it, other people are going to see what you're carrying, but if you carry the body with all the love that it needs.
Speaker 1:people can feel that. People can feel that Energy shows, yeah, 100%. And I always say clothes is what you make of it. It's. People can feel that. People can feel that energy shows, yeah, a hundred percent. And what cool.
Speaker 1:I always say clothes is what you make of it, like it's the confidence that you wear things with. Because I'll have a client that's a size small, who still feels big, and then I have a client that's like extra large and I'm just like, oh, I love this, I love that it's not just my, I love that my waist is showing. So I've realized I'm like it really doesn't matter what size you are, it's's all up here. It starts with the mind and, like what you said, if you carry your body like it's a burden, people will feel that they will feel that you're not comfortable in your body, whereas, like you said, when you're not carrying it with confidence and you're just like this is my body, I'm going to dress it up to the nines, regardless of where it's at, people will feel that A hundred and ten, 110, and that confidence speaks louder than whatever you're wearing and whatever size.
Speaker 2:I love that.
Speaker 1:I love that that confidence say it again, it speaks louder than the size of the clothes. Yeah, dropping, drop the mic I know I like what we've gone to this is nice, it's like this is where I'm really passionate about, because this is the psychology behind clothes has become a big thing for me, because I have to make sure that I create an environment for my clients that they they leave feeling more confident than when they started.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what would you say? Can you give us an example of an experience that you had that was kind of sad, like in the beginning, like you look at someone and they come to you. If you can, if you can share, they come to you and you're just like you went home thinking what just happened yeah, I mean, unfortunately, like body dysmorphia is a thing.
Speaker 1:No matter how skinny you may get or work how much, or thick or whatever, you may not see yourself the way other people see you, and that like, once again, it starts with the mind. It starts from childhood or maybe there's a trauma, whatever it is. And so, yeah, there was. There are a few clients I've had with body dysmorphia. Like, no matter what I put them in, they just can't separate what they're seeing from how I'm seeing them or how it really looks. They still feel fat, they feel overweight, they feel pudgy, and it's one of those things where it's like nothing looks right.
Speaker 1:Even when I'm like this looks really good, they're like I don't know and I'm just like when I hit those walls multiple times during a session, I not backpedaled and I realized that maybe some other work should be done, like just some mental work to like build up that confidence in your body, because then what happens is, like you said, when you carry your, your body like it's a burden, it it like becomes a weight. On the appointment yeah, because it's like you can't, I can't reach you, I can't put anything on you that you're gonna feel good in, because you. You don't even feel good in your body. Yeah, period, yeah.
Speaker 2:So no matter what I dress you in, it's not going to help oh my god, this is actually deeper than yeah, I know because like because I was just thinking about it because I was just thinking about it that I can imagine that you see some clients and now you have to say have you thought about doing some therapy? Do you have to do that sometimes?
Speaker 1:so I haven gone to that point yet, but I was talking to my sister about that. I was like what do I do when I get a client that, like I talked about everything I just hit, I keep hitting a wall. No matter what I put you in, even if I'm hiding your tummy, then you feel like you're behind a bag. If I show you a tummy, you feel fat. You feel fat, you feel too big. If I put you in skinny pants, you feel like you're pudgy, like nothing is working.
Speaker 1:So she was the one recommending that maybe I do find a way to gently ask how they're doing and like if they have considered talking to someone about how they feel about their body. Because I can't, I just can't go further, like I can't help you because you are seeing your body in the worst light. You know we're our critics yeah, we are Right. But then there are some that they don't see any good in their body because of the change that we all go through, but they haven't been able to grieve it properly and let it pass and then make room for the new body. So then they're still stuck in their old body and that kind of pressure, what it does to to you. It drives you mad because you're just like I have a goal it's to get back to where I was and then you're not even looking at the small changes you're making.
Speaker 1:You're just like, oh, it has to be that size, that size, that number, that outfit I wore back in 2000, like just you know what I did, like I think it was last year.
Speaker 2:I did it Because, like I said, it took me a while to accept it does. Yeah, I ran into my closet. There were dresses that maybe like in 2019, 2020, maybe I'd worn them just once and I was waiting. Oh, I don't have them anymore. I'm glad you didn't wait Like I was waiting. I think in December, like in summer last year, I did the first one, yeah, and December I did the next.
Speaker 2:And then even this year I did some. It's good Because I'm just like it's okay, like, and I bought. I started buying new clothes. I was like sometimes I'm like it's okay, a large is fine, is fine, like I'm okay with it, like now. Yeah, it's okay if it's large, it's okay if it's size, whatever it is. Yeah, it doesn't, I just want as long as it looks good on you. Yes, and I feel good and I feel good in it the size does not matter.
Speaker 1:The size doesn't matter. We've just been like, we've just been accustomed to a size and, honestly, it's natural just to be afraid of change and not like change right like you're just like I was always at size eight. Why am I at 10, even at 12? What's going on? You know what I mean. So you're just like. It's just rearranging your brain and the way you've been thinking about yourself and your association with these numbers, because I've literally bought three different sizes for one client from the same store.
Speaker 2:They all fit. So I'm like come on, and that's what I was thinking too. I was don't think, because if you look at, I'm going back to sizing for some reason. No, yeah, they say a medium and like let's look at the like, let's literally look at the data. I don't know what the data?
Speaker 1:says yeah, yeah, but let's pretend like we know.
Speaker 2:Let's pretend like we know what the data says. What's it talking about? Our data, our data, in our hands, between us? Yes, what we've seen, yeah, like what do you your eyes, the data, your eyes have been feeding you in north america? You're saying the media, the media, like. I believe a size medium is like the average size of the population. Is that really the average size? It's not, it can't be, it's not.
Speaker 2:And then that's why people are feeling weird about themselves yeah, because you see an m and say, oh my god, am I large, like yeah, am I really extra? It's not true. No, something is off with those sizes no, honestly, the sizes are arbitrary.
Speaker 1:That's the problem. They're arbitrary, they don't. They're not like what's? What's the baseline like? Where did it start? So where is the baseline to not say, from here small, from here medium, it's all arbitrary, right. And then your body changes and then sometimes you may have large boobs, but your waist is a small. Yeah, you have extra large hips, but your waist is a small, your boobs are small, or do you know what I mean? So I think I've gone to the point where my closet always needs stretchy pants because I want my clothes to just go with me.
Speaker 1:I don't want them, so I need at least two stretchy pants that are like elastic waist or band, so that if my body has changed, then at least I don't feel like I have nothing to wear.
Speaker 2:So that's a styling hack for us? Then yeah, if you want your clothes to last longer.
Speaker 1:It's a psychological styling hack, because it's more for your mind. Really, I think so. Yeah, just to make sure there are things in my closet that are gonna fit. Yeah, I'm bloated. One day period is here, it's always gonna fit. And then what I started doing, too, is like I always buy a size up. Excuse me, sorry, what I another thing I started doing is I'll buy a size up and then I'll just tailor it oh, because, yeah, do you have a tailor?
Speaker 2:I have a tailor. Yeah, she's actually. Of course, you do have a tailor of course, and that's only a recent thing.
Speaker 1:So I'm like you know what the more I shop for people, the more I realize the sizing thing is not it's not solid, so your tailor helps you. Your tailor also helps your clients yeah, so I have a girl on my team, so she'll come with me to appointments and she'll also shop with me for my clients. And then during appointments, if my client is wearing something, we just need to adjust something a little bit She'll take it home, tailor and then bring it back.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's really cool.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So like I don't know, if you did fresh, do you do fresh? What's that? Yeah, in business school, like in fresh week, yeah, fresh week. I remember that. So I did fresh week and I remember there was this girl in our fourth year, I think she was. I can't remember her name like this. She seemed very bougie to me back then yeah she's something, she's a white girl, yeah.
Speaker 2:And then she came she's advising on, advising us on how to dress, yeah, for interviews. It's like, make sure you have a tailor. She's like I was like, okay, she's like, make sure you have a tailor. She's like I was like, okay, she's like make sure you have a tailor. And then she was telling us brands we should shop for that. We want tailored pants, we want this. I was just like, okay, okay but you think about it back home. In nigeria, everybody has a tailor yeah, tailor everything.
Speaker 1:I mean, of course, everything is bespoke, yeah, but I thought here I'm like you know what, it's not as expensive as people think. You know, just adjust hem your pants ten dollars. You know that's. There's some tailors that can do the minimum. You can shop around, find a good tailor that's inexpensive and then keep them and then keep them and then even like my tailor, maybe darting, like if you want to bring in a dress to make it tighter, maybe $20 or $15.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's not too bad, do you?
Speaker 1:know what I mean. People just think like, oh, a tailor means the most expensive thing ever. You're tailoring your clothes. But I think it makes that difference Because I don't know if you noticed, but for the bridesmaids' dresses, do you notice other girls' dresses versus mine? I don't know if you noticed the difference, but I bought mine a size bigger and then I had her bring it in. Oh, because everybody else's dress was so loose around here so it just made you look bigger than you are. It was just not really like fitted. Yeah, so she brought it in and I was like that small thing made such a difference. Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:So I'm going to look into getting a tailor yes, for my clothes, because honestly, it's psychologically too, because then it's like this is just made for my body.
Speaker 2:It's not a size, it's just my size. This is custom made. Yes, and that's on what?
Speaker 1:Period Period Mic drop Period.
Speaker 2:Mic drop.
Speaker 1:Period, period.
Speaker 2:So you used to have a nine to five yes, and in your last row you worked in operations. You're a product manager. Product operations manager, yeah, product operations. So now you don't have a 9-to-5 anymore.
Speaker 1:I'm 9-to-5-less. Yes, what made you do that switch? Well, the switch happened to me. So, you know, I was laid off from my tech job, so that was the beginning of last year. But before that, like leading up to the layoff, like I knew it was going to happen, because I also felt like I had hit a wall at that company. I'd felt like there was not, there was no path up or growth, a growth path you know anymore. I just feel like I didn't really have a sponsor, somebody in my corner to be like here's what you should do, and I'll be fighting for you to get there, or I'll be telling you know, I'll find opportunities. I think the company had also pivoted quite a bit. So I was laid off last year.
Speaker 1:But before that, earlier, like I think the summer before I was laid off, I had kind of, you know, been journaling and praying a lot about, like, where to go next, and so I was just kind of praying and I really felt God say it's time to do your own thing. But I was like, nah, it's scary. I was like I'm good, ain't, nobody got time for that. I'm making money. Even if the job isn't fulfilling me as much as it used to. I'm making money and it's safe and it's good money and I'm remote, why would I leave this job, you know? So I just kind of left that, but I wrote it down in my journal because I was like, you know, let me just pray about this.
Speaker 1:And then from there, you know just things started to happen at work and I was just like I was not fitting, it wasn't fitting me. I wasn't even fitting them, like what I was offering didn't seem like they wanted it as the company was pivoting, and then that led to me being laid off last year. And then, as soon as it happened it's funny because at first I was like, okay, apply for a job, apply for jobs. But something in me was like this is not, this is the window you're looking for to try and do your own thing. But in my head you know the Niger mentality in my head is like it's not lucrative, it's not even AI, it's not hey-hi, it's not hey-hi, it's not technology, it's just technology, it's not even technology, it's just personal styling. And I kept saying that and so I would just pray through it and God's like, it may seem that way to you, but it's not, that's just in your eyes it's very niche.
Speaker 1:It's so niche and I it's like for me I always knew I wanted to do my own thing, but I thought, you know, let me find something lucrative, like maybe have a product that I can source from Nigeria, sell it here. But to me I'm like this is such a specific thing like how can I scale this and how can it grow and how can I eat along?
Speaker 2:the way, can I eat some food? I mean, I gotta pay rent, I gotta eat. I wanna hang out with friends, and so that mean.
Speaker 1:I got to pay rent, I pay rent, I got to eat, I want to hang out with friends, and so that's how I took the plunge. The plunge happened to me, but I stayed here. I took the window opportunity to pursue my dream.
Speaker 2:So how have you been able to stand out, find clients? I'm not telling you to share your business secrets no, I have no problem with but, like, how have you been able to like source for clients? What has helped you to stand out and do you think your education has created an edge for you? And the fact that you actually have some work experience in industry? How has that contributed or did it not contribute anything?
Speaker 1:No, it definitely contributed. I always tell people that everything you've done, every experience you have, will help you in your next job, like there's no wasted experience. You learn something, even if you were a camp coordinator and now you're trying to get into med school. You learn how to gather kids together to get their attention. You learn how to deal with chaos, so there's always transferable skills, whatever you've done before, to your next gig. And so definitely you know, I've always worked in startups, so I've learned a lot about oh, you've always worked in.
Speaker 1:Just by chance, it's always fast-paced. In fact, fast-paced is an understatement of what's happening. It's like it's not, it's a sprint. I used to say to my team it's like you're sprinting up a hill and then somebody has a hose on, so you're trying to avoid the hose and you're sprinting, and you're sprinting uphill. Oh my god, that is what it feels like to work in a startup, and so I've always had that grind mentality you grind, you work hard and you work extra hard sometimes you're not even working smart.
Speaker 1:You're just working hard because you're like I have to keep going. There's pressure there's always pressure. There's always, like always pressure, and sometimes the pressure doesn't make sense.
Speaker 2:You're like, bro, what we doing, like gotta go, gotta move sometimes I'm like guys, you're not saving lives, no one's gonna die. Is there heart surgery about to be done?
Speaker 1:nope, nope, but it feels that way but it feels that way, make it feel that way you're like I can't even sleep.
Speaker 2:I start dreaming. That's when you know you're like whoa. You start dreaming I one day I dreamt that I missed the meeting. Oh no, that's real stress. I dreamt it was not even long ago. I dreamt that I missed it. Then I woke up in panic yeah. Then I checked I was like, oh, it's not even the day yet.
Speaker 1:I'm laughing because I've been there. You're just like the panic, the stress. I guess it builds resilience, it helps you know how to manage stress and also know that you can't die you will not die.
Speaker 2:You won't die, hard things won't kill you?
Speaker 1:No, they won't. You'll learn from it, and so I learned from all these experiences. I learned how to manage stress, how to work under pressure, how to build something from nothing. That's the biggest one. You're trying to create structure, but yeah, so along the way I've learned so much from each career opportunity, each job, product operations, especially in a startup based in San Francisco. It was like a proper, proper startup, you know, with technology infused systems and all these things. I learned so much about technology and like tech, tech tools and I got exposed to coding and just seeing how it all works, and so a lot of that has shaped who I am today. That plus the marketing experience I had before working in advertising. So marketing and branding that has gotten me to the point I am today is creating a brand out of what I'm doing, and so that helps you to stand out.
Speaker 1:Exactly, and it helps me to also be very specific about my message. So I'm not just sending different messages. I'm like I'm a stylist, I'm, you know, this is what I'm trying to do and when I think about what I'm specific, I'm so specific and everything, like you know how you say, when you go to the grocery store, things are where they're supposed to be. Yeah, like, when I think about a post, I'm thinking of the person who's going to look at this and what do I want them to feel and what do I want them to like. What am I touching on that's going to like? Incite them to call me.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's actually yeah. Okay, that's great.
Speaker 1:You have to think about these things and that's what people, that's what I've learned through these experiences is how can I get inside your head so that you can? You want what I'm giving? Yeah, but you want what I'm giving. And then your other question was about how do I meet people? Yeah, how do you find clients? How do I find?
Speaker 2:clients. How do you meet people? How do they?
Speaker 1:find you. That's actually what I was going to say. People find me. My biggest source of people finding me is the internet, google. I know people are always like I'm sorry, what Can you say that again?
Speaker 2:Did you guys hear that Google? I'm sorry, what Can you say? That again. Did you guys hear that Google? So did you change? Do you have a website? I have a website, okay. So do you change things in your? I don't know how to do those things, seo, seo.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, my SEO game.
Speaker 2:I need to talk to you after this. We'll just.
Speaker 1:We need to help each other. Girl, yes, girl, yes, seo is a big thing and I think, like you know how you said, it's so niche, right? So I don't have a lot of competitors, you know right. Whereas if I'm selling a product maybe kids toys, something it may be harder to to make your seo so strong that you are like you're showing up on page one yeah but for me.
Speaker 1:I don't have so many competitors in calgary, so if you're if you're trying to find a stylist in calgary, I'm on page one, like top three, top four, consistently. Which is like do you pay for google ads or whatever? So I can, but I just my organic seo is what gets me on page one. Oh so I don't have to pay to be on page one. I just. Over the years, my website has been alive and running and, like you know, you know what?
Speaker 2:I know? We just said that you moved full time. Let let's let people listening not know that like they need to understand that. No, she didn't just start this. Oh, yes, yes, she's been doing this for a minute. I've been doing this. She's been down, she's been consistently like she's been doing. She's not even though you had a nine to five or even when you get busy I've had this always you always make sure to know, to let us know that I'm here yes, yes, I'm doing this.
Speaker 1:I've been doing it since I started it in 2015. Yeah, yeah, and then I've, and then that was even when I just graduated university and I started it because I didn't have a job.
Speaker 1:I was like I need to keep busy you know, I gotta eat once again, and so that's when I started it and so when I had that website, so just, and the way seo it's like a marathon. The longer your website is around and the and it's providing like quality content for people. It's helping people. It's not just you're not just doing things just so you can rank. Yeah, then your website. You know google's crawling your website, like, oh, this website is doing this is around, it's providing good content, so it helps you rank better. And so all those years definitely have helped. And then you know me just learning along the way, like, what helps with seo? How do you get better ranked, you know?
Speaker 2:so all those things have helped and even your marketing and your brand. Oh my god see, the school is important. I know we say it's not, no, no, it is. Oh my god it's not. But like they're just.
Speaker 1:Maybe they're haters, because it can't not be yeah, education, knowledge is power, whether whether you get it through school or ai or the internet, wikipedia, but you need knowledge.
Speaker 2:So I have another question for you. Like I know, you're the last child.
Speaker 1:Yes, I told my last children stay strong. Strong for what?
Speaker 2:please.
Speaker 1:We're abused in the household, abused where.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So because I'm going to ask a question where, as a last child, do you feel like being the last child gave you the freedom to just say I want to do fashion? How did your parents react? Okay, last child gave you the freedom to just say I want to do fashion. How did your parents react? Okay, I guess you you were a little bit older now you didn't come out of school and just start fashion, like you actually tried to. Okay, let me get a job and all that so. But did they still have a reaction when you, when you told them that, oh, I, I'm going to do this 9 to 5. I'm going to just do my own thing and I'm doing fashion, and they're in fashion.
Speaker 1:I would say their reaction today is better than it would have been if I was trying to do this 10 years ago.
Speaker 2:Of course.
Speaker 1:Or even five or six years ago. My mom has always been my cheerleader. They're both my cheerleaders, actually. They are supportive. They'll ask me the tough questions. My dad is just the dad, you know he's like. I want to make sure I have the best. I have money coming in. You know I'm making top dollar.
Speaker 1:I'm ranked up there and so he's always looking out for me. In that sense, I think he's having. He is like a late adopter in terms of like, okay, I'm accepting that this baby is not looking for a job, this is what she's trying to do. So I think he's slowly getting to the point where he's like okay, this is actually what she's trying to do full time, but he's very supportive and he's always like thinking grand right. He's like look at Jeff Bezos, look where he started Books in a garage, start somewhere. But you know, I still think he's a protective dad.
Speaker 2:So he wants to make sure, and I think it's normal. It is, I think it's a normal reaction, but I'm always curious to know how our african parents react. Yeah, with this. But I guess my question doesn't make any sense now, because I was gonna ask you if being a last child gave you the freedom to even think of going into that way.
Speaker 1:I think I don't know if it's a last child thing. It might also be personality thing too, because some last children are also maybe still under the effect of the older siblings. Yeah, because there's still an effect of your older siblings. So I would say I don't know how to put it Like I've always been affected or impacted, or like what my siblings have done has always had an impact on me, of course, right. So older brother is an engineer. Other sister is a doctor. Other sister she had like a you know dean's. She was on the dean's list for her psychology degree and I'm like I don't even know.
Speaker 2:Where do I even start? You know, and you're like oh my God, no wonder you got a job right after You're. It don't work. I got to make it Because my siblings will even beat me too yeah, they'll beat you, yeah, before.
Speaker 1:Even. You know, sometimes as a youngest kid, your stupid ideas can't last very long, because you put it out there Before you even tell the parents. The brother is like what.
Speaker 2:Oh wait. Does that even make sense. Are you kidding yourself? And then you're like you know, maybe it's not true.
Speaker 1:That's. Maybe I should pivot what I'm thinking. So they definitely had an impact on me, but I think you said the freedom to do it. I think I've always been this way, though I've always. I'll try to, I'll go against the grain, but I'll still get, you know, input from my siblings or my parents, my family. I think I've just become more strong or solid about my path, like I don't need everybody's support as as much, whereas before I'm like I don't get everybody's support, maybe I won't do it, whereas I so.
Speaker 2:I think that's just the maturity I think I was gonna say it's called growth, it's called growing through the madness.
Speaker 1:Oh, I love it. I love it, it's the growth. So yeah, yeah it's not not necessarily the youngest thing. People think, oh, the youngest can do whatever they want.
Speaker 2:I think it gives you the freedom, because, you know, the parents are usually harsh, that's true, so they can't even think it, but by the time it gets you, they're already tired. Man, just like, hey, is that what you want to do? Okay, carry yourself, they'll ask questions, but they would let you be as well, is what I think? That's true.
Speaker 1:I think. I think it's a mix of that. Times have changed. I've grown too, it's all of those things, and you've proved yourself over the years yeah yeah, that's a fair point honestly, because I think too, like some, you're right, though like older siblings, I feel like they have that responsibility of doing the right thing more. They may not even give themselves the opening to like, explore, because it's tougher on them. So it's a fair point. Most of them, most of them honestly, yeah yeah.
Speaker 2:So I'm gonna ask you some quick questions. We don't have things to do, just say whatever comes to your mind. The first one is how can somebody improve their personal style? Give us like five simple tips.
Speaker 1:Oh, simple tips on improving personal style. Okay, First know your body, Know your body shape Like, where do you carry weight, Where's the smallest part of your body? And then focus on highlighting the smallest part of your body and then I don't want to say hiding, but concealing the parts that maybe where you carry the most weight. You want to just like play with those parts and the smallest part of your body. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2:yeah, yeah, yeah, so like if you have bigger boobs for example.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, that's maybe not where you carry the most weight because, like some people want to show their cleavage. They want to, you know, highlight their boobs. But okay, for example, if you have a small, like you want to find where your smallest part of your body is, your waist, always try to highlight it or just bring it to life where you can, because it just kind of creates a nice silhouette. Okay, what?
Speaker 2:about for men.
Speaker 1:Okay. And then for men, I think it's similar, same same thing. So maybe if a guy carries a lot of weight in his tummy, you know you want to create an outfit that I call the curtain effect. So sometimes if you wear a shirt that's like open with a shirt underneath, people will only see like a small window of your tummy, and so it kind of creates this effect that like okay, like it's only seeing that small part.
Speaker 1:I'm just saying like oh, I'm not body shaming anybody, I'm just saying it's about creating shapes and silhouettes with clothes. And you can do that when you know your body and your body shape. So knowing your body and your body shape, so knowing your body shape, also knowing if you run hot or cold, you know, because that'll help you feel comfortable in what you're wearing. You know so that you don't. So temperature temperature is also important just how your body operates, because then you, you want to feel comfortable in what you're wearing. That makes you feel like you're on top of the world. People think like, oh, I want to be fashionable, so I have to be uncomfortable. That's not the case. I'm about lifestyle styling. You know, if you're styling for a model or a commercial shoot, that's different. These are models that are just trying to look awkward and odd for a different purpose.
Speaker 1:So know what you feel comfortable in. Audit your closet. Take out things that like spark joy.
Speaker 1:Like you know, the mary kondo show yeah, I know, I still fold my stuff the way she thought, yes, things that spark joy, things that you're like I love when I, how I look when I put that on. And then what else increase your personal style? Think about things that you like doing. Like, why would you describe your own personality? And that's how you want to look for clothes too, you know. So your personality. If you're vivacious, you're a little spicy, you know.
Speaker 1:That's a way to discover your personal style. Like, what do you like doing? What's your lifestyle? How would you describe yourself, your own personality, and then look at other people's styles, like, what styles have you seen that you're like? Oh, I like the way they did that. And then my caution to that is if you like it on them and you're trying to do it on your body, know your body shape first, because if it looks good on them, it may not always look good on you, but figure out how you can make it work for your body. You know that's men or women, so those are some tips too.
Speaker 2:Okay, know your body, number one. Think about what you like to do and how you can sell your personality without you wear your clothes. Yes, if you like something on someone, it may not look good on you. So know your body shape. Or ditch your closet, throw things that don't fit anymore out, or give them out, donate them. And there's one that came to my head keep what you like, what what sparks joy, love, yes, okay. What can you do to elevate like a simple shirt?
Speaker 1:okay, okay. So for a woman I'd say like accessories. So accessories are like god, it's like your icing and then accessories doesn't always have to be my accessories.
Speaker 1:I'm accessorizing just one big ring. I love big rings. You don't have to do big rings, but one little ring, one bracelet, even studs, a stud earring or something, and just one necklace, those little accessories. And also, if you're into makeup like your eyeshadow is an accessory, your makeup is an accessory. So if you're going for a simpler look or maybe the colors are a bit more dull, you can accessorize your face, your lip color. You can accessorize your face, your lip color, you can go bright, glossy. These are all accessories and garnishes for your outfit and, honestly, something for men too. For men, I would even say like oh, the chanel lipstick has some lip color, you know a little gloss, oh gosh. So I think for men it's more. I would say layering. Layering is a good way to make your outfit look more sophisticated than it is.
Speaker 1:Okay, and it's super simple. So you know, like, let's say, you're wearing a shirt and then you now have an open shirt on top of it, and then the shirt is open. So you have two pieces. Find a third piece, okay, because you can always take it off if you get hot. But having three like three pieces of clothing on your torso.
Speaker 1:People can be like oh, he looks like, you know what he's doing, you know it looks put together. It looks put together. It's just three pieces, so just try a layer. What about in summer? In summer you can. Equally, you can also layer so you can have like, let's say, a like a linen shirt that's short sleeve, and then you have a short sleeve shirt underneath, yeah, okay. And then maybe you have like a cardigan that's literally also linen or like cotton right, it's just a light cardigan, like it's literally like paper or something like that just very, very light.
Speaker 1:So then you're just creating, like, just think about those boys in monaco, somebody on a yacht okay, what are they wearing? You could, like you know, replicate it. Yes. And then your shoes, guys, your shoes, guys, your shoes. I actually agree with that shoes. Just just make sure you have nice shoes, clean shoes, clean, nice shoes I think their hair, their haircut too.
Speaker 2:Oh, I smell fine.
Speaker 1:Oh my god yeah, your smell, your scent alone is an accessory. It's a huge it's a huge and you don't need an expensive perfume, just have a scent and like let that, let that speak for itself that it's a nice scent.
Speaker 2:It reflects you it doesn't have to be the one that chokes us, no yeah, we don't want to die just because we're standing next to you.
Speaker 1:That's also.
Speaker 2:That's a negative that's a no-no on a first date a no-no, oh, that's a good question no matter where you're going a no-no.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know why I don't have a good answer, because I'm always trying to show people what they can wear. So I never, I'm never like you can never, like you can't wear this, you can't wear that, because I don't want to feel like that person that's like you can't do this. You can't do that. So I'm never on this side where I'm saying no, no, no, no.
Speaker 2:Oh, I see you always encourage it.
Speaker 1:Because that's also part of my brand, right? Okay, based on what I tell them to do, you don't want anything that's going to like just lots of movement, Maybe that's. You might scrap this, because I don't know how strong of an answer this is, but you know like there's a lot of fabric going on. Oh, I see you know, because you might. It's distracting it. I see you know, because you might. It's distracting. It's distracting. It might be over-empowering or not over-empowering. What's the word I'm looking for? Is it over-empowering? Why am I blanking now? I feel like I'm going, my brain's not working, Like it might be too much, like too loud or something.
Speaker 1:So you don't want anything that yeah, and then like go out the movement, because if you're going for dinner and you're trying to grab some food like maybe you don't, it gets clumsy yeah, it can get clumsy, so maybe anything that's just like excess material it's gonna get in the way.
Speaker 1:I would avoid it. And then for guys, I think for guys it's like make sure you're you're comfortable in what you're wearing, so just go for cotton. Like think about fabrics, yeah things. Yeah, things that you can breathe, like you, your body can breathe, because guys run hot too. Girls run hot as well. So just think, what are you comfortable and confident in and then create the outfit the night before so that you're not stressing. Make an effort, make an effort, just try.
Speaker 2:I was going to ask you Now. You said that you wear comfortable clothes, so they can just wear shorts and flip-flops.
Speaker 1:No, no, I said comfortable and confident. But you're right, some people feel confident in shorts and flip-flops. Yeah, so are we. Are we okay with that? No, I mean you know what. It depends on the girl you're taking out. If, based on her profile or what she said, she's really chill, then maybe that's what she's looking for. But I mean, we're talking about for our brand we're looking for please, don't wear shorts and flip-flops. My face is like, uh, no, don't do shorts, don't do flip-flops, don't do shorts and sneakers and high socks. Just just look. Polished is the word I like polished.
Speaker 2:I mean those. Those are guys that we like.
Speaker 1:Yes, but some other people don't like, some people think it's too much. But you know, teach as long as you're confident and I love you as long as you've tried. Have you tried to make it?
Speaker 2:yeah, I think that's the thing just try, yeah, and maybe try and make sure it's maybe reflects the person you're going to.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah and honestly, if you're making an effort, it'll show. Yeah, she'll see it like. And if you're trying to look polished, you can't slop, you won't look sloppy. So if you're looking sloppy means you really didn't try. You didn't try, just try yeah yeah, okay, okay.
Speaker 2:So would you ever date a guy that has a bad fashion? Are you single? I am single. Yes, okay, yes, I'm single she's single and she's in calgary, okay but I'm all over the world, in fact.
Speaker 1:Wherever you are, come find me.
Speaker 2:I'm just kidding, she's a citizen of the whole world, citizen of the whole world exactly so would you ever date a guy with a bad fashion sense?
Speaker 1:a bad fashion sense. I'd say if they are not open to exploring different styles, then I wouldn't. Okay, do you know what I mean? And that even that'll seep into other parts of their life? Yeah, you're not even. You're just, you're very rigid. You're not trying to explore new styles of clothes. You don't want to. You know. I need someone who's adventurous and open, yeah, and and like they have a you know that growth mindset. So if you're here, fashion wise, I'm here to help you. Take you, I can take you here. Allow me lead you. Yeah, would you be open to me, like leading you?
Speaker 2:the way yeah, I'm showing you the way in that sense I think I'm the same way, because but I was thinking about it what if he's kind nice, he has all these other qualities, yeah, and that's the only thing I just feel like if he likes me, yeah, he would be curious to see what I can do with it yeah and like right.
Speaker 1:I feel like if he's nice and kind, like all the other qualities are there, but he's just like dressing is nonsense. I mean like he probably as long as you're, you're teachable yeah, that's, that's what I was gonna say.
Speaker 2:That's the real quality. Yeah, you're not too strong-headed. Yeah, just allow me to own this department.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, yes let me be looking good together. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:We'll be elevated people are gonna look at you and say what happened, what happened? Black girl effect. I know it's real, it's real. The last question I'm gonna ask you is how would you advise a man? Okay, so there's a couple one person dresses nice, the other person thinks her dress is nice, but they don't. Maybe the girl she's so like in. You know, there are, I know, people like oh god, I sound very somehow actually, but there are people. There are people that you can feel it, that they feel like they've stepped out, but they haven't, but they feel like they have, like you can even feel the energy that they feel like they've stepped out and you're dating a man like that. Like, what would you advise a woman dating a man like that to do? And also, what would you advise a man to date a woman that is like that she's? You know people like that have it in them. That's why they need to hire you. Actually, they do Hire me. Just hire her, just hire me, okay what would you advise?
Speaker 1:This is a good question.
Speaker 2:Enc question encourage them to they don't need to change yeah because they do have it, they're curious about it, maybe they're just missing. And to be fair with such people, I know that if I just change one thing, it'll have a big effect. Things look so, it will look so nice. Just one thing, like literally. I'll take away one thing yeah, because you look at them, like there's a lot of potential here. Yeah, but you can never say it. Yeah, you can't say because they'll be so discouraged. You can't say no, you can't say because you don't. I don't know anybody like that personally, but I've seen them from afar.
Speaker 1:I don't know them, but I see them in the street've seen them from afar. I don't know them, but I see them in the street. I see them from afar. I mean, I always say I think it's hard for a partner, somebody in a relationship to. It's not hard, it's just. It can be difficult. Yeah, because the person who doesn't dress good versus the person who dresses good and wants the other person to dress good. So the person who wants the other person to dress good can come off as like choking, because they're just trying to change you and make you dress better.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And they may have good intentions, so that can frustrate the person who's not dressing very well. And this can go to any problem, right? Any problem between a couple. One person wants the other person to be more clean. How do you do it without pissing them off? And usually the one that's cleaner is the one who suffers the most. The one who dresses better is going to suffer the most because they're like I'm up here, you're down here, I'm trying to get you up here, so how do you do it?
Speaker 1:I find that with my clients, especially the ones that they want to make the change, they're nervous and they don't know where to start. It's just like I would tell them if this is a couple situation. I would tell the person who's trying to lift up the other person to try to like remove yourself from the situation, remove your emotions around it, because you're so invested in getting this person to be at your level. You might frustrate them and then you might push them away and they won't. They don't want to try things anymore, but instead, like take it as, become their consultant. Imagine you're not. This is not a couple situation. You're. They've hired you to help them, so remove yourself from the situation so you can be more objective and think, okay, let me actually study this person. What are they currently wearing? What are they comfortable in? What do they gravitate to? That will help you figure out what they might try.
Speaker 2:That's new, so be intentional be very like that, so like so, for example. You don't say anything, you let them be you for a while and then you start to take notes of what's what they like, what's one, one or two things, one or two pieces that they like or we can improve on, and once in a while you make suggestions not all the time yeah, not all the time, because you don't want to be annoying, you don't want to be controlling yeah, it can get toxic right and the person can now doubt themselves and like be discouraged and like lack confidence and what their own style is.
Speaker 1:So like assess their style, like try to find a way to oh okay, they like wearing this sweater with these pants. Maybe even ask them oh, how come you like those pants so much? You'll be surprised. They'll be like oh, because it's comfortable, you're like, so that's why you like those raggedy pants. So you realize that comfort is important to them.
Speaker 1:Okay, noted, comfort is critical, so don't go out and buy jeans or pants that aren't comfortable for them, because then they will not wear, even if the pants look nice. Yeah, it just means that they they. Comfort is more important than looking nice. Where some people, it's okay if it's a little uncomfortable, but if it looks nice they'll suffer. Yeah, but that means that person is not. You just need to know where the person is at, because you can easily find comfortable jeans that look good yeah, you can give them one exactly.
Speaker 2:Just say, babe, I know you love those jeans and they're very comfy, but try this one, try this one, it's soft. Yes, you don't sell them, it's sleeping in.
Speaker 1:Yes, you're being to sell them on the qualities that are important to them it's comfortable, it's cotton and the same thing.
Speaker 2:for a girl, it's like an expression of her.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what does she like? Does she like a lot of patterns? Maybe she's mixing too many patterns together, but she likes patterns. So find her a way to find a way to find the good pattern mixes that aren't too clashing. Yeah, make sure the patterns are present, because she likes patterns. You know that's true. Or color color just gently, just slowly, slowly, slowly change them.
Speaker 2:Yeah you know, not even change them. Yeah, just change them. Yeah, you know, not even change them, you're just helping you, really help them that's a better word. Bring the whatever is inside out. Yes, that's it. Create a cohesive look. Yeah, yeah, so I think that's actually. Yeah, that's true. Help them to bring out what's inside, what's inside, bring it out.
Speaker 1:Yes, that's the goal, yeah, and then they'll hold on to it longer, like they'll, because it's them yeah, shadi, this is so much fun, so fun.
Speaker 2:I like how we talked about very important things really, like as women or not even as women as people, yeah, we are growing and we we are having all these changes, even with styling. Like through this conversation, I'm realizing how your clothes are such a big, important part of who we are, how we show up every day yes, yes, especially when they don't fit the way they used to.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because before maybe you didn't realize how important they were, because you're just like anything I put on, it fits girl. So I used to.
Speaker 2:I used to think oh, I didn't think it. I was told, yeah, to be honest, I was told that you can wear anything. You wear things, your body carries things.
Speaker 1:So well, yeah, until you do this Until your body changes and the things that you used to carry. You don't carry it the same way, it was not carrying anything.
Speaker 2:It was not carrying anything, I was carrying it too much. All the crops All my crops?
Speaker 1:It was no. I honestly I enjoyed the conversation and it was always. It's always nice to hear people how people react to what I'm saying. I'm like, like and just like for you to empathize with it or to really resonate with it. Yeah, that's always so encouraging for me to be like. Yeah, because I really believe in it, especially the more I do it, the more I have people I'm like. This stuff is so important it's true.
Speaker 2:I mean, yes, I think I agree with you looking into maybe partnering with therapists or something. Yeah, that's a good idea. I think there's a lot of mental work that could be done to help people feel better and style themselves and just don't not be more comfortable in their clothes and more confident and actually believe that. No, it actually looks good on me. Yes, yes, believe in it.
Speaker 1:I can wear it too, and I can carry it well yes, yeah, yeah, building that inner confidence yeah actually that's a really good point, like finding a therapist, like even just collaborating with them, because I honestly, it's just a matter of finding a way to present that to a client without making them feel like, oh, you probably want to fix whatever's happening internally you know what I mean, like I need to find a way to what about?
Speaker 2:look at how we are sharing ideas. Look what about group like seminars for so? Instead of it's not for one client, it's like all your clients can do it and if somebody's interested they can pay x amount of dollars. That's a great. So those people? So it's not like you're calling anybody out but you're also recommend, but you then recommend it. Oh, we have this program. Yeah, I, it's. I. I think you may be interested.
Speaker 1:Yeah, check it out.
Speaker 2:So like you're not really, saying it, or you're saying it, so it's available, they want it, so it's like a group thing and it's a group, so they don't feel called out, they're not called out and everybody can just come and learn even if you're confident in your body, you can still learn yeah, you can preserve the confidence sometimes it's like preserving the confidence is also important. It's be like a group thing and it's be like okay idea and they just pay x amount of dollars if they want that service or something.
Speaker 1:It's a great idea, honestly, I will definitely look into that, yes, but this, this session, has even just been enlightening for me to just realize like, oh, this is what's, this is what you're picking up on.
Speaker 1:you're like, well, that's a good point, did it? I'm like, oh yeah, okay, I'm gonna remember that, you know. Like yeah, so where can people find you? Yes, so I mean, I'm on Instagram. Knit me up style. Can you spell it? Oh yeah, knit k-n-i-t-m-e style dot shade so's my name. I'm pretty sure that's it Shade's S, s-a-d-e, shade's S-A-D-E. And then I have a website, so knitmeupstylecom. I'm on LinkedIn, so just type my name Shade Babatunde. Where else am I? Yeah, I think that's mostly it online, and so hit me up if you need styling help, style advice, image therapy and all the above.
Speaker 2:so yes, it was really lovely to have you I know this was so much fun. Thank you, thank you for the question, of course, so till next time.
Speaker 1:Bye hello everybody, welcome to growing through the madness, sir the Madness.
Speaker 1:My name is Shadi. I am the guest today. I'm an owner of a personal styling boutique based in Calgary, alberta, called Knit Me Up Styling. Today we are going to style our host, miss Abby, and so we're going to take a look at her closet and some of her favorite pieces from her home in Toronto. So I'm very excited to look at it. We're going to see what works, what we like and just how things fit in general. Let's do it. Let's do it, okay, abby. So tell me about some of your pieces that you brought here. Let's just walk through each.
Speaker 2:Each one. Okay, so this is just a regular black dress.
Speaker 1:It's backless, it's an alter neck, let's take a look, oh okay, okay, it's an alter neck yeah, that's a little bit low back, and what do you like about it?
Speaker 2:well, I have a nice back and it shows that yay shows a nice back half. And it's elegant. It's good for like events, formal events or whatever. So it's always nice to have a black piece in your closet right.
Speaker 1:That's why I like it Definitely A little black dress, an LBD. It's not even little, it's long, it's actually not little at all. A long black dress, a long black dress, yeah, okay, and this one. Let's talk about this one. I'm very excited about this one.
Speaker 2:Okay, this one I am not sure about. I ordered it and I'm actually not sure if I want to keep it or if I should return it.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm not too sure about it, so we'll see, we'll see. We're going to try this one out actually, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2:Maybe there's a way I can style it. Okay, am I showing you the next one? Yeah, yeah, okay, so this is just a regular sleep dress, cool, but we've paired it with this kind of like see-through top?
Speaker 1:Have you worn the sleep dress by itself before?
Speaker 2:I always wear it by itself. And yes, I always wear it by itself and, yes, I always read by. So I don't think I've won it with something else before. Okay, but I have paired a slip dress with, not like just a regular share. Oh yeah, okay, black top, but I'm wondering if this is even a thing. We're gonna test it out okay yeah, oh, sorry, I messed it up.
Speaker 1:Okay, oh, sorry, it's okay. Ooh, then we have a bodysuit coming in. Let's take a look at the bodysuit.
Speaker 2:So the bodysuit is just like one of those things I throw in if I don't know what to wear. It's a base layer. Yeah, it's just like, well, I don't know what to wear. It's not boring, but it's simple enough, so I just throw it in, okay boring, but simple enough, so I just threw it in.
Speaker 1:Okay, I like the pattern, though. You see. This is why I called your stat this is okay, we're gonna get to that, but okay, I'm, I'm realizing what your style is, oh, okay okay, okay.
Speaker 2:This one is just like a regular sweater. I think it's animal print is this animal? Print yeah, almost like like leopard or cheddar yeah, one of the animals, yeah I like it because it's really soft. If you're cold it's gonna keep you warm and it's nice and long it's nice and long. So this I sometimes wear into the office on a winter day, um, like if I wore like. Sometimes I'll wear like a short skirt. If you wear this on a short skirt, people forget you're wearing a short skirt.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's why I wear it yeah, you forget about the short skirt, and I would pair with, like, long boots, because or I wear it in spring or, yeah, springtime, because like it's not that warm.
Speaker 1:But it keeps me warm Okay. That's it, last but not least.
Speaker 2:This one is very basic too. I also. It's just like a regular sweater thing. It's very long, also one of the things I have in my closet so I can wear short things, but it allows me to. I mean, I wear it to work as well, if I wanted to wear a dress and I didn't want it to feel too much. Right, I'll cover it up with this long thing here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's it okay let's take a look at the first outfit, the one from what's the brand called, again, ama?
Speaker 2:oh, oh this. I'm going to take a look at this.
Speaker 1:Okay, we'll be right back. All right, so we have outfit number one. This is the dress that Abby wasn't sure about. She likes the design, actually, let's talk through it. Oh, so what do you like about it? And then, what are you?
Speaker 2:not sure about. I don't know what I like and I don't like. I'm just not sure. Yeah, I'm like. I don't know. Is it too big for me? Is it my size? There's something about it that I'm not sure about. I really don't know what it is. Should it be longer? Maybe I would have liked if it was longer. I think what I. Maybe I don't know what it is, to be honest maybe it's because it's quite there's a lot of pattern.
Speaker 1:Maybe it's there's too much pattern. Do you like the pattern, the design I did?
Speaker 2:when I started on the model, but I don't know, like I don't know if it looks good on me. It could be one of those things where it's like, okay, just get out of your comfort zone.
Speaker 1:That's true too, because this is really not my comfort zone yeah, and I always like people trying new things. I I'm even trying to try new things, like color is new for me, so I'm trying to push that boundary yeah, the one thing I would say that I would like to see, because there's a lot of ruching. All this bunching here is nice. It would be nice if it was on one side, because right now what it's doing is it's bringing my attention to your tummy, to the middle part of your whole body.
Speaker 2:And that's the parts that we need to not put a lot of attention to.
Speaker 1:Maybe that's why I don't like it, maybe Because it's like I always say. It's not like we want to hide the tummy or the parts that maybe, like you're less confident in. We just want to try to find a way to show it in the most beautiful, most complimenting way.
Speaker 2:So what.
Speaker 1:I'm thinking, for example, what I would want is like this ruching. I'd want it to go to one side, because anytime you have ruching on one side, it just has a way of complimenting your tummy and your body in a very beautiful way. It's very aesthetically pleasing, yeah, and it does a good job to conceal your tummy without hiding it.
Speaker 2:So like for me, with my body type, it's probably better if the russian is not doing much or if it's not coming to the center, all the russian is coming right to the center yeah, it's all attention here all the attention is being brought right into the center, okay, and so that could be one of the reasons.
Speaker 1:That's when that's the first thing I noticed, but I actually didn't mind the pattern. It is like it's loud, but like what that you said, that is something that you're trying to do. Yeah, it's like pushing out of your comfort zone, but I also think that like, okay, so let's give it a little turn. Okay, because the booty looks nice, the booty is nice, you know, okay, but I also like it's not, like it's a hell. No, it's just like it's not like it's a hell, no, it's just like that's the one. That's the first thing that came to mind. It's like that ruching. It brings all the attention to this.
Speaker 2:To this side.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Where would I wear this to you could?
Speaker 1:wear it to a party a night out dinner.
Speaker 2:A night out dinner.
Speaker 1:Okay, some heels. So we'll take a look at some of the heels, at the kind of shinier heels yeah, that one too, those would be really cute as well. Yeah, and then for those that are like, if you want to wear it, because for me I'm self-conscious of my tummy, so in a dress like this, if I really wanted to keep it, I would just wear it doesn't have to be shapewear if sometimes I even wear like high waisted underwear yes, even just high waisted underwear honestly, I have this, yeah, yeah even just that, because then it'll just like hold your tummy in some people like they don't, whatever happens, whatever they eat, their tummy doesn't move and that's cool and they're comfortable.
Speaker 1:And some people they don't, they don't need, they don't feel they need to wear shape, work.
Speaker 2:Yeah, whatever your comfort zone is, find it and then dress so you don't think it's a no, you think it's a maybe. I think it's also a maybe.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's where I am so like even I'm going to make sure the camera is showing. Oh, you just clipped this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I clipped it yeah.
Speaker 1:And I like the detail here, like the little peekaboo, peekaboo, but I think it's a maybe. Okay, yeah, and I think you also think it's a maybe. I think it's a maybe and that's why I haven't returned it. Other thing I'm thinking is like the pattern is quite busy. Yeah, and sometimes a busy pattern can make you look bigger than you are, sometimes depending on how the pattern is right, and then because the pattern plus the ruching here in the middle, yeah it's just like there's a lot going on yeah so that is the other thing I'm thinking.
Speaker 1:That's what's making me, maybe, but I love the edginess of it too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so for me as well, I like the edginess of it too. Yeah, so for me as well, I like the edginess of it, but I'm just not sure if the edginess works for my body.
Speaker 1:And I like that we got to that conclusion. I think that's actually what it is and that's what I do with clients. I'm like I never say, no, don't wear that. No, that looks bad. It's like we're trying working what's not working and why, so that next time you know, you like if you see it on a model and you see you can imagine what it would look like on yourself yeah, help you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, okay all right, should we?
Speaker 1:go to the next one. Yeah, we'll go. Let's look at the black one, because I have a feeling you see how the ruching is on the side. Yeah, I think that is gonna work better for your body.
Speaker 2:So okay, okay, we'll try it so I even feel more comfortable with this one.
Speaker 1:Okay, talk to me about why you feel more comfortable I feel more calm.
Speaker 2:There's not a lot going on. It's not too much. It's not too much, but I still mix, like you will still notice the dress without it being oh my god, what's going on?
Speaker 1:yes, yeah the other one had a lot and then turn around let's show people the yeah. And then we also talked about this dress. There's like a little bit of ruching. It just gathers ever so slightly. On this side there's gathering, and I think that that was one thing I said about the other dress, that if it kind of gathered to one side and you know how wrap dresses work, yeah, you'll wrap to one side, or peplum it fits and then it flares out. Yeah, that works really well around like the tummy, and that's one thing.
Speaker 1:To to look for the ruching where is the ruching happening? Yeah, if it's in the center, it's going to draw attention there. So on the side, and it'll draw attention there. So that's where people's eyes are going to go to first, okay, yeah. And then also this black dress. Like black is also like you know, I'm not saying go and wear black every day, because like the color is nice and the pattern is nice, yeah, but even like, if this dress itself had the pattern of the other dress, it might be better, because then the ruching is on the side.
Speaker 2:So at least again, like we said, for my body type, this yeah, this is a good style, that style is good, exactly.
Speaker 1:It's just I don't think you really elevate that's it. That's my body, right yeah yeah, it doesn't complement your body as well as this one can yeah yeah, and for this one we could do the black shoes or even the both shoes.
Speaker 2:Would work beautifully so yeah, let's see the next outfit, the last one right, okay, yeah, outfit number three, the final outfit.
Speaker 1:So we've paired a slip dress with a shirt just like a skin, like a sheer shirt with some sparkles on it. How do you?
Speaker 2:feel in this outfit. I like it. I actually like it. I also think it's simple, but it's not so simple. The green is loud, the black is loud without being loud yes, actually I like that.
Speaker 1:I think that's your brand loud without being loud, and maybe that's why that dress didn't work, because it was just loud.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just too, maybe yeah, it was all loud.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's not like loud without being loud.
Speaker 2:There was no subtlety yeah, I like a little yeah, maybe that's the thing I like a little bit of such a mess in my, in my stuff yes, like a subtle, like trying hard but not trying yeah, so yeah, not about being too loud yeah this has the green, but the green is even like an emerald green, it's like a darker green, so it's nice.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the peekaboo leg. And then the same thing the shirt has these like sparkles that are very tasteful, so we like this outfit.
Speaker 2:And then you can also wear the dress like without the shirt underneath, which is what yeah, yeah okay, and you feel comfortable, you feel confident, yeah, and I think I I don't know what you think. So this either like very simple shoes just because of this. Oh, this shining.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you can do the black. We have the black shoes over there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, those would be good as well. Those would be good yeah, or even like sneakers.
Speaker 1:No, I was actually going to suggest that.
Speaker 2:Oh, sneakers, okay, I thought I was off Because I feel like you put this shirt.
Speaker 1:Whenever you wear a t-shirt with a dress, it, like it, can go casual. I think that's my point to making it a casual outfit. Yeah, so if you're wearing a t-shirt with a slip dress, then you can add some sneakers and it's more of a casual.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like a summer night.
Speaker 1:I can just wear this and go from movies or something yeah, a little handbag on the side or over the shoulder, a crossbody bag, but yeah, okay, so we found her brand. It's loud without being too loud, subtle, but not too quiet, you know yeah, a little spice. So you're gonna say what my style was after we've done all of this yes, yes, yes, we're gonna get into that, but this is like the beginnings of what your style overall is gonna be okay, that's everything all righty, okay, bye, hope you had fun.
